Well, this is one of those blog journal entries that I make not because I have really put a thought into it, but because I don't have anything better to do...I have been wondering about what to write for a while - I have contemplated writing about homesickness - a feeling that I had largely over-comed few years back. Somehow, it has come back to haunt me and take my peace away. I thought about writing on bachelorhood minus KFC, Subway and similar food items. That largely turned out to be empty. And then, all of a sudden, my mind started digressed to think about the topic of this post.
The philosophical me often urges me to think about discontent and dissatisfaction that people, including myself, experience. All of us have pages full of sporadic cribbing and cursing when we blame life for turning out the way it did. On most instances, I realized that this feeling of despise and misery is due to the gap between our own expectations and the actual outcomes. Everyone can relate to that. A student who expected a higher score might score less and feel down. An employee who expects a promotion towards the end of the year might feel dejected in case things don't turn out his/her way. A son who expected a gift X may get a gift Y (where perceived value of X by kid < perceived value of Y by kid), et cetera.
What I have observed is that the sheer habit of expecting never dies down. In fact, with every passing stage in life, we learn to expect even more - expectations from job, expectations from career, expectations from family, expectations from relationships...and so on...Now, I won't be prophetic by saying that one should never expect things - on the contrary, expectations has its own benefits. It pushes people to stretch themselves to levels they never thought were possible. It leads to creation of new benchmarks and milestones. It is like kaizen - continuous improvement. But there is a pitfall. Seldom do people are realistic when they define their expectations. Irrational expectations when not backed by the desired results lead to the creation of the gap which throws a lot of things out of gears. I, for one, have personally undergone several such instances where my ill-founded expectations have only met the face of the bitter truth of disappointment. Every single time after these events, I have vowed not to fell prey to the trap set for me. Yet every single time, I have failed to do with-hold myself from this fatal attraction. There are lessons that people learn...and then there are some that aren't just your cup of tea.
On the flip side, there is nothing better than surpassing your expectations. Things sometimes turn more glorious and magnificent that you thought they would. Such occasions give you the immense delight and pleasure which your heart fails to engross. You feel on top of the world. Aahh! The sweet smell of such intoxication!
Well, I just hope that all of us get to taste the sweeter side of things, especially when we really need it.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The Feign
Let me just put things in perspective before I go on with my yapping and cribbing again.
30th Mar 2011 – Probably one of the most anticipated days in the history of Indian Cricket – or rather one of the most anticipated days in the history of Indo-Pak relations – the cricket teams from across the borders are all set to battle each other in the Semi Final of the ICC World Cup 2011 – the stakes are, as have always been, higher than the menial outcome of who is the winner – after all, there is no parallel for pride for the country men of these two nations , especially the one that comes after defeating the other in a round of a cricket match.
The anticipation and excitement generated by this encounter to be has been nothing short of a tequila shot. Indians and Pakistanis alike are all dying to be inside the PCA stadium on 30th Mar ’11. The cricket fever has probably reached its climax and may in fact, be an orgasmic feeling for several cricket followers in both the countries. The Indian Government has already played its cards by inviting top dignitaries from our north western neighbors. The game is all set to be a showdown – all things that sell in the country – Bollywood, Cricket & Gossip – have already occupied centre stage. Top ambassadors from the Indian Film Industry to be there, all news channels, radio stations going gaga over the match, people flying in from all corners of the globe to watch who delivers the knockout punch…The city of Chandigarh has already been fortified owing to security threats, I believe there are more policemen than citizens at present. The hotels are FULL…those which aren’t full yet are demanding highly escalated prices for four walls on the eve…tickets are being openly black marketed. Student tickets which were modestly priced at Rs. 250/- have exchanged hands for 50 notes of the green smiling Gandhis….
Now, I don’t intend to be a spoilsport and disrupt anyone’s reason for enjoying the game…on the contrary, I am all for fun. But the only thing that has tripped my circuits is the sheer act of feigning. All the country is high on the adrenaline today, with nationalistic fervor and patriotism flowing in full glory through most Indian’s veins. And this is the cause of my numbness towards the match. The reason why I am comparing our (Indians) attitudes to the act of feigning is the dual standards that we often display. We are at our nationalistic best on 15th of Aug, 26th of Jan and on days of a Indo-Pak clash; and yet, for the balance 362 days in the year, we don’t give a damn where our nation is headed. We act as if we are isolated and secluded from the daily happenings that are affecting our country. We bribe our way to glory, we remain apathetic to the needs of the have-nots, we continue to be a discriminating nation, and we lack civic sense…all hard but true facts…people are shelling out 100 times the price of the ticket…the same people would not have ever donated a single penny out of generosity from their big fat wallets. People are demanding half day at work, as if it’s their birth right, yet these same people will not have ever spent half a minute of their lives to understand the poor and stricken.
My earnest request to all my fellow Indians is simple – please be patriotic in spirit, please stop feigning. And as for the 30th of Mar ’11 – may the best team win!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
The Rasmalai!!!
There are instances in everyone's life that his/her perspective on various matter goes around a 360 degree change. While he/she may be thinking at one end of a spectrum, there are others who look at this from an entirely different frame. This is a story of similar proportions that occured with me a couple of days back.
Sunday evening, I & my pal, Sunny, were just spending the time we usually do - lot of gaming, wasting time at CCD and just hustling one from end of market to the other. Sunny's usual titillating comments are always a pleasure to listen to...and add to it a discussion on the Global economy - you have a head stirring cocktail!! While we were strolling down the market, we came a book seller and I happened to stop just to browse through some books. Not that I am an avid reader (I prefer to write :) ), I happen to come across a novel titled "I too had a love story". For some unexplained reason, I decided to buy it for a read. Probably it was Sunny's make believe depression from his make beleive break up from his girlfriend that was playing on my head. But I bought the book.
Tuesday midnight, I was not particularly occupied with any work. And sleep was not anywhere close to my eyes. So, there I picked up this novel and started reading it...though the book is itself a magnificient piece to read , I was left with a heavy heart after a strenous 213 page readout. I knew that it would be a heart breaking ending. After all, the title mentioned "A heartbreaking true love tale" with the author dedicating the book to the girl he loved but couldn't marry. But, after three hours of reading the novel from its front to end, I some how felt like crying...and i mean literally, crying. The book was a fanstastic read taking the reader from a range of emotions - from initial excitment to the ultimate tragedy, but I couldn't sleep that night.
Wednesday morning, I could barely manage to drag myself to work, trying to wash away the dampness from last night's emotions. Anyhow, I made it to work, albeit late! Hours passed as I tried to concentrate on my work ambling through it. Soon, it was lunch. Sunny & I have this usual habit of going out for a sweet snack after our lunch...its not inspired by our love for sugar but by the fact that our office premise is an area which is a hub for a lot of eye candy. We entered our usual shop - its called Gopals (i think its some relative of Nathu's from Delhi :P ). While we were deciding what to order, Sunny noticed, as he put it, a "hot & beautiful" girl sitting in the corner of the restaurant. Its very unusual for guys to use both adjectives while describing a girl, so you can understand how "hot & beautiful" she really was. As usual, I was late and Sunny called dibs on her! Knowing that I had lot the first shot at her, I made my way to the billing counter an ordered two Rasmalai's. As soon as the tiller gave me a receipt, Sunny came to me with a panicky look on his face and asked me to cancel the order. Bemused, I shrugged him off asking him what the fuck was that all about. He, then literally, dragged me outside Gopal's. Fuming, I looked at his quizically...and I got the answers to my questions when I saw that girl making her way out of the restaurant with a friend of hers.
What happened next is something I promised I had not done ever in my life. We followed her like stalkers for about 10 minutes as she criss crossed through the entire complex. The entire situation felt so alien and funny to me. In fact I felt so ridiculous trying to haunt a female in such a manner. But the cherubic joy of doing things like this for the first time kept egging me on. Soon we realized that it was becoming a sort of an ordeal. If this wasn't enough, what Sunny asked me to do what even crazier. He asked me to follow both of them on my own as Sunny ran to the parking lot to fetch his car. It appeared to me that he was very experienced in such escapades and he had anticipated that we were in for a long ride that day. I did as he asked me to, relaying information to him as he sped and arrived at the junction of the traffic nights. Meanwhile, our herione here was on her way in a rickshaw, still accompanied by her friend. We followed her pacing like snails behind the rickshaw, occasionally passing her and then halting for her to pass - only so that Sunny could get to see her over and over again (I don't know why but Sunny felt high every time we did that). After 15 minutes of this play of shadows, she got down, probably somewhere close to her house (which now in hindsight was lightyears away from where we had started following her). Sunny was in a fix - asking me strange questions like what he ought to do next - whether he should go and try speaking to her or not, etc. etc...He looked at me and asked me for my advice!!! Fuck! Well, my head was telling me to ask Sunny to let go while my heart really wanted him to go for her...I did what my heart told me...and off he went. He walked briskly behind her to catch her but was slightly late as she entered her PG (we suppose). Sunny came back disappointed although the satisfaction of knowing where she resided was apparent on his face.
Sunny is not one of those guys who lets go of thing so easily. How could this occasion be any different? He quickly got back into the car. For once, I breathed a sigh of relief thinking that we were finally on our way back to office (as I was getting frantic calls from work). But that wasn't the case. He steered the car right towards her house and I was startled - when I asked him what he was upto, he said that he wanted to give it one more try. As we entered the lane where her PG was located, she was there again walking down towards us with her same friend. Fate too, it appeared, has a funny bone! We recommenced on our earlier unsuccessful tryst. Few blocks down, she entered another house. I was delighted thinking that all this stupidity was going to end...but I was too early to jump onto the conclusion. For the next 30 minutes, we just kept roaming round and round her place at 10kmph in Sunny's car - this is what Sunny later explained to me was the Chandigarh "Gerhi"!!! Guy's way of checking out girls and how even girls enjoyed that in the city beautiful. In my 3rd year in Chandigarh, I had finally learned and experienced the way of youth over here! After some desperate waiting, Sunny called another friend of ours for some "advise". And we all know that friends are so good at giving those....so it was decided. We would wait until she came out and Sunny would go and "try" speaking to her...in fact he even rehearsed for it...when he was rehearsing, I could not control laughter as the entire scheme of things was so funny. Nevertheless, out she came!
Tired of waiting, I kicked Sunny out of his own car and told him to go and speak to her (so that, as per my anticipation, after she had slapped some sense into him, both of us could head back to work). He then followed her...and out of desperation, tried to make some conversation with her...which as narrated by him later went as:
Sunny: Hi! Can I speak to you for 5 minutes?
She: No!
Sunny: Only 5 mins, please!
She: Noooooooooo!!! I don't want to talk to you!
Sunny: please...just 5 mins...5 minute mein kya jayeaga
She: Nahi na! (to her friend: yeh kya kar raha hai yaar)
Sunny: (giving up) Chalo, koi nahi!
And then he came back and sat next to me...I decided to drive on our way back...(thinking that he wouldn't be in the right frame of mind after this chit chat!!!). I thought that he would be really disappointed, but to my surprise, he was in high spirits. For a minute, he was so delighted as if he had won an Olympic gold! For reasons best known to him, he vowed that one way or the other, he would convince this girl!!! I was amused by the confidence in his voice and told him that I shall wait for the day it happens - and promised him to gift him an entire box of - you know what - Rasmalai's - when that day comes!
Now, as I am emptying my pockets, I found that unavailed reciept of Gopal's. And this entire story came back rushing to my head...more so how the dismay of reading that book and experiencing the author's pain vicariously was so easily transformed into a great joy and an indelible experience of my life.
Aah!!! Rasmalai's, I tell you!
Sunday evening, I & my pal, Sunny, were just spending the time we usually do - lot of gaming, wasting time at CCD and just hustling one from end of market to the other. Sunny's usual titillating comments are always a pleasure to listen to...and add to it a discussion on the Global economy - you have a head stirring cocktail!! While we were strolling down the market, we came a book seller and I happened to stop just to browse through some books. Not that I am an avid reader (I prefer to write :) ), I happen to come across a novel titled "I too had a love story". For some unexplained reason, I decided to buy it for a read. Probably it was Sunny's make believe depression from his make beleive break up from his girlfriend that was playing on my head. But I bought the book.
Tuesday midnight, I was not particularly occupied with any work. And sleep was not anywhere close to my eyes. So, there I picked up this novel and started reading it...though the book is itself a magnificient piece to read , I was left with a heavy heart after a strenous 213 page readout. I knew that it would be a heart breaking ending. After all, the title mentioned "A heartbreaking true love tale" with the author dedicating the book to the girl he loved but couldn't marry. But, after three hours of reading the novel from its front to end, I some how felt like crying...and i mean literally, crying. The book was a fanstastic read taking the reader from a range of emotions - from initial excitment to the ultimate tragedy, but I couldn't sleep that night.
Wednesday morning, I could barely manage to drag myself to work, trying to wash away the dampness from last night's emotions. Anyhow, I made it to work, albeit late! Hours passed as I tried to concentrate on my work ambling through it. Soon, it was lunch. Sunny & I have this usual habit of going out for a sweet snack after our lunch...its not inspired by our love for sugar but by the fact that our office premise is an area which is a hub for a lot of eye candy. We entered our usual shop - its called Gopals (i think its some relative of Nathu's from Delhi :P ). While we were deciding what to order, Sunny noticed, as he put it, a "hot & beautiful" girl sitting in the corner of the restaurant. Its very unusual for guys to use both adjectives while describing a girl, so you can understand how "hot & beautiful" she really was. As usual, I was late and Sunny called dibs on her! Knowing that I had lot the first shot at her, I made my way to the billing counter an ordered two Rasmalai's. As soon as the tiller gave me a receipt, Sunny came to me with a panicky look on his face and asked me to cancel the order. Bemused, I shrugged him off asking him what the fuck was that all about. He, then literally, dragged me outside Gopal's. Fuming, I looked at his quizically...and I got the answers to my questions when I saw that girl making her way out of the restaurant with a friend of hers.
What happened next is something I promised I had not done ever in my life. We followed her like stalkers for about 10 minutes as she criss crossed through the entire complex. The entire situation felt so alien and funny to me. In fact I felt so ridiculous trying to haunt a female in such a manner. But the cherubic joy of doing things like this for the first time kept egging me on. Soon we realized that it was becoming a sort of an ordeal. If this wasn't enough, what Sunny asked me to do what even crazier. He asked me to follow both of them on my own as Sunny ran to the parking lot to fetch his car. It appeared to me that he was very experienced in such escapades and he had anticipated that we were in for a long ride that day. I did as he asked me to, relaying information to him as he sped and arrived at the junction of the traffic nights. Meanwhile, our herione here was on her way in a rickshaw, still accompanied by her friend. We followed her pacing like snails behind the rickshaw, occasionally passing her and then halting for her to pass - only so that Sunny could get to see her over and over again (I don't know why but Sunny felt high every time we did that). After 15 minutes of this play of shadows, she got down, probably somewhere close to her house (which now in hindsight was lightyears away from where we had started following her). Sunny was in a fix - asking me strange questions like what he ought to do next - whether he should go and try speaking to her or not, etc. etc...He looked at me and asked me for my advice!!! Fuck! Well, my head was telling me to ask Sunny to let go while my heart really wanted him to go for her...I did what my heart told me...and off he went. He walked briskly behind her to catch her but was slightly late as she entered her PG (we suppose). Sunny came back disappointed although the satisfaction of knowing where she resided was apparent on his face.
Sunny is not one of those guys who lets go of thing so easily. How could this occasion be any different? He quickly got back into the car. For once, I breathed a sigh of relief thinking that we were finally on our way back to office (as I was getting frantic calls from work). But that wasn't the case. He steered the car right towards her house and I was startled - when I asked him what he was upto, he said that he wanted to give it one more try. As we entered the lane where her PG was located, she was there again walking down towards us with her same friend. Fate too, it appeared, has a funny bone! We recommenced on our earlier unsuccessful tryst. Few blocks down, she entered another house. I was delighted thinking that all this stupidity was going to end...but I was too early to jump onto the conclusion. For the next 30 minutes, we just kept roaming round and round her place at 10kmph in Sunny's car - this is what Sunny later explained to me was the Chandigarh "Gerhi"!!! Guy's way of checking out girls and how even girls enjoyed that in the city beautiful. In my 3rd year in Chandigarh, I had finally learned and experienced the way of youth over here! After some desperate waiting, Sunny called another friend of ours for some "advise". And we all know that friends are so good at giving those....so it was decided. We would wait until she came out and Sunny would go and "try" speaking to her...in fact he even rehearsed for it...when he was rehearsing, I could not control laughter as the entire scheme of things was so funny. Nevertheless, out she came!
Tired of waiting, I kicked Sunny out of his own car and told him to go and speak to her (so that, as per my anticipation, after she had slapped some sense into him, both of us could head back to work). He then followed her...and out of desperation, tried to make some conversation with her...which as narrated by him later went as:
Sunny: Hi! Can I speak to you for 5 minutes?
She: No!
Sunny: Only 5 mins, please!
She: Noooooooooo!!! I don't want to talk to you!
Sunny: please...just 5 mins...5 minute mein kya jayeaga
She: Nahi na! (to her friend: yeh kya kar raha hai yaar)
Sunny: (giving up) Chalo, koi nahi!
And then he came back and sat next to me...I decided to drive on our way back...(thinking that he wouldn't be in the right frame of mind after this chit chat!!!). I thought that he would be really disappointed, but to my surprise, he was in high spirits. For a minute, he was so delighted as if he had won an Olympic gold! For reasons best known to him, he vowed that one way or the other, he would convince this girl!!! I was amused by the confidence in his voice and told him that I shall wait for the day it happens - and promised him to gift him an entire box of - you know what - Rasmalai's - when that day comes!
Now, as I am emptying my pockets, I found that unavailed reciept of Gopal's. And this entire story came back rushing to my head...more so how the dismay of reading that book and experiencing the author's pain vicariously was so easily transformed into a great joy and an indelible experience of my life.
Aah!!! Rasmalai's, I tell you!
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