"Hello...(hello...hello...),
Is anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone home?
Come on
Now
I hear you're feeling down
I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again
Relax
I'll need some information first
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts?"
Huh...how wrong are you. Mr. Waters and Mr. Gilmour!
No...I have not become Comfortably Numb...on the contrary, its very uncomfortable...
How long has it been? Probably 4 days since I have slept...I can gauge by the intensity of the dark circles forming under my eyes...even my superficial pair of lenses fails to veil the sleeplessness...It hadn't dawned upon me till evening until my chief called me in and asked me whether I was doing fine...hell, he even asked me to visit the hospital...I smirked and answered with my usual nonchalance towards his superfluous concern..."koi chakkar nahi (as in to mean its ok)" and thought to myself...its been ages since I last visited a doc...5 years perhaps (touch wood)... not that I wish to schedule an appointment with 'em any time before I am on my death bed...
But yes, I called it an early evening today and came back to my den...just to contemplate on my state of being...this seeming disorder that is slowly but surely percolating into my veins...
No, its not the work - neither the quality nor quantity that is bogging me down...and it never will because its just not in my nature anymore to be pegged down by menial things like these...
Not to sound arrogant, I am well aware that being smarter and more hardworking than most people, has its own disadvantages...people around you wish to take the liberty to pass on some more of it to you every single time thinking that I am oblivious to what is happening...FYI...I do your work so that you can go home early and enjoy the nice little evening with your family...but certain things in life will always remain thankless...and that's the way it is...
Am I somewhere off my usual routine?...nops...same old eating habits....5 times daily to keep me in that anabolic mode...same old physical training every morning...same old GG...so what is different?
Thinking hard as I can, I don't think its easy to answer this question...your head tells you one thing and your heart the other...I had an opportunity to hear Sidhu paaji last week (though I am not a very big fan of Sidhusim)...I still remember what he said..Son, in matters where you face a conflict between the pure heart and the head, always trust your heart for the answer...
I shall try and do the same...perhaps, it will ease the pain...
Ohayogozaimasu! (I think thats what they call Good Morning in Japanese)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
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